This post was actually an idea from one of my best friends and bridesmaids, Shannon. She's in two weddings this year and is getting thrown full force into the wedding tornado [welcome to our mid-20s]. Here's the text conversation we had a few weeks back before our friend's shower:
Well, Shannon, here you go!
1. RSVP On Time: There's a reason for that "RSVP by" date: the venue needs a head count, the bride and groom need to start on their seating chart, and place cards need to be made. Don't make the MOB or MOH have to call you and ask if you're coming!
2. The Registry: Brides make registries for a reason. I understand that there might be something you really want the bride to have, but my suggestion that if you want to buy something "off-registry" include it with something also "on-registry" so that the bride knows you were thinking of her wishes. If all else fails: cash.
3. How Much?: There's really no set rule about how much to spend on a wedding. However, with whatever you choose to spend, the usual break up of dollars is: 20% engagement party, 20% shower, 60% wedding or 30% shower and 70% wedding.
4. Wedding Checks: Make them out to either the bride or groom. It will be easier to cash, rather than making it out to both of them.
5. Late to the wedding: Ideally, you should get to the ceremony location at least 15 minutes early, but if you are running late, you need to wait until the whole bridal party and the bride have walked down the aisle to find a place to sit.
6. Attire: If the attire is listed on the invitation, well then there you go! If it's not, judge the ceremony location, venue, and time of day. Just two tips: don't wear white and don't wear anything tight fitting or revealing.
7. Social Media & Phones: Here's a tricky one. My thought is if the bride & groom give or use a wedding hashtag ahead of time, they are probably okay with you snapping a photo or two during the ceremony and reception to upload. However, don't use a flash, turn off the shutter noise, and don't keep the phone out for more time than it takes to take the photo and send it.
8. Your Seat: Trust me, the bride and groom worked for hours on the seating chart for the reception and thought this was the best place for you: don't change it!
9. Your Food Order: Another thing you can't change. Maybe you saw the table next to you has a delicious steak and you ordered chicken, but no, you cannot ask the waiter to change. Chances are, they might try to be accommodating, but it's just rude!
10. Don't be "that guest": Don't ask the following: "How much did this all cost?" "So, when are you having kids?" "Are you sure you're ready?" "Is that really the ring you wanted?" or drink too much. Just don't.